Call Me ‘Mate’ – Don’t Even Think It 

We have recently returned to the land of being called -even by male locals – “My lover” as in “good morning my lover” namely the South West of England where we live.

The reason I bring this up is because whilst we’ve been away travelling through England and around Scotland the one thing that is very noticeable is the regional dialects.

Is there any wonder that foreign visitors to these island are confused when they are confronted by not only the multitude of regional accents in what let’s face it is a very small geographical area and along with them cultural dialect and ways of speaking.

But then again we are also being bombarded by what television promotes and that is an English accent that has been developed around London and what has now been given the name Estuary English.

It is awful and is spreading which is why when we were in the north east being called “pet” in a warm County Durham accent and “love” whilst in North Yorkshire really pleased me.

No matter how television may try – and be succeeding – in the south to homogenise the English language it is being resisted in the North of England and even more so in Scotland.

I suppose it’s my age but it is bad enough listening to people speaking in glottal stops – when did Northampton become Norfampon and Kettering become Keerring and matter become marra?-as in “woz the marra ain’t you heard of Norfampon or Keerring”?

Now I’m not a qualified medical practitioner but I’m pretty certain that using and speaking the letter ‘t’ doesn’t take an excessive and dangerous amount of additional breath.

Even worse as far as I’m concerned is the creeping epidemic where everyone thinks they’re your friend.

Yes I know they don’t call you ‘friend’ but let me make this clear.

If I don’t know you I am not your ‘pal’ or ‘buddy’ and I am certainly not your ‘mate’ and if you want to be my ‘mate’ you had better be female and get clearance and permission from Mrs P who no doubt would tell you you are wasting your time.

Now I’m not advocating that I get treated with a level of respect because of my age that wouldn’t be afforded anyone else and it may be that some people would object to being called ‘pet’ or ‘love’ but at least they are simply regional terms rather than personal.

It is even worse when the people calling me ‘mate’ are shop assistants which is irritating but not as annoying as being called ‘buddy’ and if anyone ever calls me ‘dude’ then I refuse to be held responsible for my reaction.

This is the United Kingdom ffs not the United States of America.