English Confusion

English is quite difficult – But fun

There are so many idioms

Just perfect if you like puns

The people who speak English

Even the English can’t agree

Should it be ‘two’, or ‘to’, or ‘too’

Should it be ‘you’ or ‘thee’

The different forms of English

As seen across the world

Differs from place to place

Sometimes it’s been improved

The one thing that the English

Agree on I guarantee

Is that American English

Is definitely off key 

No matter how they practice

They’ve simply decided to

Spell their English incorrectly 

Out of colour they leave the ‘u’

On top of which the words they use 

The English just confuse

They call the ‘arse’ a ‘fanny’

Use ‘elevator’ in place of ‘lift’

If it’s designed to confuse the English

It’s certainly a success

That we meet with merriment

After all in England a ‘farts’ a ‘trump’

In America it’s a President”